Friendship fallout survival tip 1: Don’t blame yourself
If your friend has moved away, become increasingly busy or for some other reason fallen off the radar, it is easy to feel as though you have failed in some way by being unable to retain your close friendship. Many women buy into the media stereotype of what a female friendship should be like and believe that their friendships are supposed to last forever, however this is often not the case. Just as it’s important not to expect romantic relationships to live up to what we see in movies, it is also important to realize that the friendships we see on TV are often not realistic.
It can be easy to throw accusations at yourself that you are “not a good enough friend”, “easily forgotten” or “not worth making time for” but this is not true. Friendship ‘breakups’ are something that lots of people go through at some point in their lives and they are not a reflection on you or your value as a friend.
Friendship fallout survival tip 2: Ditch the green-eyed monster
Jealousy can be a major cause of conflict between friends – particularly for those just starting out in their careers and relationships. If you have spent a lifetime moving at the same pace as your friend; starting school together, celebrating exam results/new jobs/promotions together, analyzing relationships and commiserating breakups together, it can be bewildering and upsetting when your friend suddenly ups the ante and trumps your latest first date story with the announcement of her engagement or impromptu move abroad.
However, while it can be difficult to get your head around the shifting gap between your lifestyle and that of your friend, it is important not to resent your friend for their opportunities. Just because you have both moved at the same pace up until this moment, it doesn’t mean you should be now; you will no doubt have your own equally exciting opportunities ahead. Let your friend know that you are happy for them and proud of them, and do your best to feel it too!