Would you like to know how a novel ends before starting to read it?
Would you like it if someone told you who was going to win Masterchef season 4, before you could see it for yourself? No. None of us would. There is a reason why we prefer going on the journey, rather than abruptly landing at our destination. When you’re planning a vacation everything counts: the struggle to find a suitable destination that caters to everyone travelling; booking of tickets; applying for a leave at work; telling family and friends of your plans; the excitement and exhaustion of packing; arrival of passports with visa stamps; holding the foreign currency in your hands; driving to the airport; taking your seats in the flight; arriving at your destination; breathing in the sights, sounds, and smells; exploring the glitzy airport and so on, so forth. Every element of this process contributes towards maximizing your pleasure.
If you sleep with someone on the first date, you’ve killed the mystery right there. There’s so much you will be missing out on. The pleasure of getting to know that person; back and forth flirting; the first goodnight kiss at her door; the teasing; the seduction; on the third or fourth date, the sexual tension; the big question in your head: will she or won’t she invite me back to her place? Then the awaited crescendo, the thrill, the pleasure of seeing each other naked; sleeping together; waking up next to each other in the morning. Sex on the first date is like having the dessert without savouring the soup, the starters, and the main course.
There is a reason why there are stages for everything in life: no one gets to play for India the day they pick up a bat or a ball. There are steps to be followed: galli cricket, school level, college level, state level and finally, if you’re good, you get to play for the national team. If every day was Sunday, would we appreciate Sunday as much as we do now, at the end of a long, tiring week?
The reason why sex on the first date is strictly advised against is purely because you don’t know squat about the person. Knowing the person over a course of a few dates, makes it special for the both of you, especially if it’s a girl you really like. It could well be the girl’s idea to head over to her place, but it is up to you to stay strong and refuse. Just a simple: I think we should wait. The fact of the matter is even is she is okay with, in the heat of the moment, or maybe it is the alcohol, or the fact that you have actually turned her on, she will most probably regret it in the morning, seeing herself as someone having jumped too soon into bed. Even she doesn’t feel that way, you ought to act like a gentleman, not a sleazeball who just wants to get into her pants.
Remember, as a child when your dad or your favourite uncle bought you and your brother two bars of chocolate? While you in your eagerness and excitement gobbled it up immediately, your brother ate it leisurely, going mmhm with every bite, teasing you over the course of an entire day, while you stared like a jealous fool, kicking yourself for being so greedy.
Sex is awesome, but it is better when both of you are equally turned on, have waited for a bit, let the juices flow, when you’ve had time to fantasize about it, play it frame by frame in your head. No movie is released without a trailer. That’s because they want to tease you, get you interested, get you Facebooking, Tweeting, talking about it. So when you finally get to see the movie on the 70mm screen, relaxing on cushy leather seats, you are waiting to be blown by it, waiting for the movie to exceed your expectations.
True delight is in treating each of your senses, taking it slow and easy and enjoying every step of the way, like a lovely, expensive glass of wine. Never heard of anyone doing bottoms up with wine.
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