People often say that most men want their wives to be like their mothers.
First of all, who are these people? And where do they hang out? A crèche? But nevertheless, there seems to be some merit in exploring this.
The thing about men is that they are lazy. Having a wife who is exactly like your mother makes sense for so many reasons right? Since you’ve already known your mother all your life, by that rationale, you then already know your wife. With one quick swoop you have two of the most important women in your life completely figured out. Now, all your mother and wife needed to do is have a meeting and decide how best they can deliver on that one sole mission they have on earth – to please you!
What these mama’s boys need to do is get their butts off the couch and embrace one truly awesome fact; your mother will hate your wife for the rest of her natural life (whoevers ends first), and the best part is, it’s your fault. You disturbed the harmony that existed in your mother’s world by bringing home a woman who is half her age, and half her size. Women get threatened easily, and now that your mother can see how much of a puppy you have become when it comes to your future wife, she will begin to rummage through her chest of potions (no pun intended) to find a suitable fix.
And what exactly do these men hope to achieve by having a wife who is just like their mother? I mean what kind of sick Freudian joke is this? The last thing ANY man in the world should want is for his mother and wife to be so alike, that you can’t tell the two apart. Sure you love both these women, but let’s be really clear that this is a very different kind of love. So if you married this woman just so she can cook, pick up your dirty underwear and tell embarrassing stories about you at family dinners, you are an idiot.
A wife is usually everything your mother is not – a bad cook, can’t tell her underwear from yours and hates family dinners.For me, this is why the whole wife being like your mother thing won’t work out. Secondly, this is the only way a man can truly attain nirvana, because with a woman like this sharing your bed, you definitely can’t have her sharing the same house as your mother.This means that as ghastly and frightening as this may sound, you will have to MOVE OUT!
Now that you are out there in the big bad world, all by yourself and with your wife, you have to learn to forage for the both of you. The lack of inclination that she may now show towards cooking a meal will then intensify your love for 2 minute noodles. But wait! You cannot satisfy your hunger by eating cheap, ready-to-eat food all the time. No! You must take your wife out to a “decent” restaurant until she one day decides that she wants to learn how to cook, or you hire someone to do it (quick tip, start looking for a maid!).
And then, as time goes by, and as the clouds get darker, you look back at the days when you would complain to your mother about having to eat something she made only just a month ago. How strange it now is that you are ready to eat that very dish, every day for the rest of your life. You reminisce how with your mother around the house, clean underwear was always at hand. Now you are left with nothing but the option to go commando until someday you find that VIP (Very Important Piece) of clothing that kept your personal jewellery safe. Family dinners are rare, well because, she hates her in-laws. If only your wife were more like your mother huh? …If only!
*P.S. This article is an exaggerated expression of reality….or is it?
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