How to Fake Your Hard Work

altWe’ve all grown up hearing the words ‘There is no shortcut to success.’

 God apparently helps only those who help themselves. Of course, an atheist couldn’t care less about the saying, but I think you get the point. Hard work is said to be the only way you can succeed in life. Well, truth or not, who would not prefer becoming successful the easy way? Are there any shortcuts to success? Well, you can ‘fake’ your hard work!

1. Look the part

The next best alternative to hard work is to look like you’re doing some serious work. First impression is the last impression, you see? Whether you work with real files or files on your computer, make sure you have the most important ones handy. You never know when the boss or the team leader is passing by, so you must be able to open them at a moment’s notice. The best thing you can do is to have a utility file – one which you can keep open all the time!

2. Dance isn’t the only thing which requires props

Again, keep that file handy. Better yet, keep a cardboard box or some papers or write something down. Now whether you’re seen at the coffee machine or at the store outside the office, you can always knit your eyebrows in concentration and rummage through the box or search through your files or take frenzied notes as a project-changing idea strikes you. Of course, pick a prop which suits your work - unless you’re a photographer. Just click away pictures of that person you’ve been stalking.

3. Jargon is your alphabet

While you would not prefer using all those complicated terms if you were given a choice, you need to be thoroughly acquainted with technical jargon. Trust us; they will come to your rescue in those forced conversations related to your projects at work. Apart from making it look like you work hard, you must also make it sound like you work hard. Keep your ears open, you never know when something useful may fall in.

4. E-mail much?

Maintaining an online presence is equally important. Make it a point to reply to all important work-related e-mails, be it from a superior or a team member. If you belong to that category of people who can access your e-mail from outside your work place, then consider yourself blessed by the office Gods. Send in your queries or doubts at ungodly hours, even at midnight if you have to - feel free to catch a movie or watch a game on TV while you do so.

5. Three Ds of success – Delegate, Delegate, Delegate

By any chance, if you happen to be in a position of moderate seniority, then feel free to put your legs up on the desk. Why do juniors exist, after all? Don’t worry. That’s what bosses do ALL the time. Keep delegating all the meaningless and meaningful work to your juniors. Of course, you will have to follow up, but hey – that’s still much lesser work than doing the actual work right? You can now get results on time, without all the labour and tedium involved.

In case you get fired on getting caught ‘faking’ your work, we have more solutions for you. In the meantime, if you manage to get away with faking your hard work, then utilize a little of that extra free time to give us a shout out – it feels good to know that our whacky ideas have been successful!

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