The ‘ugly’ truth behind Matrimony sites!

I happened to spend some time with an old friend over the weekend. As we relived our college days and laughed over endless gossip, there was something very serious she had to share with me. She is 26 and like in any other household, the pressure of marriage was at its peak. When I asked her what was happening on wedding front, ‘MATRIMONY’ she said in frustration!

When her parents and nosy relatives failed to set her up with a boy, the only source left was matrimonial sites. So her parents signed her up for an online matchmaking site. ‘I was not irritated, hassled or embarrassed, even when I had to meet a guy to figure out if he was ‘my kind’, but these online portals can do nothing but make you lose faith in marriage’, she added. Wondering why? Here are the reasons.

1. Firstly, huge ads are used to show off how many people use the portal to find a soul mate. The models in the ad try to paint a picture like there can be nothing better in the world than a marriage through their site. But, yes, the only thing these models finally care about is their looks and the money they get for posing. Just not convincing enough!

2. There is a column called ‘our success couples’ which supposedly lists a bunch of couples who enjoy a successful marriage, thanks to the site (couldn’t laugh more). How do they arrive at these conclusions? And who exactly defines a successful marriage? Goof up number 2!

3. Third is the preference of caste. In the so-called process of ‘simplifying’ the groom or bride hunt, there are a zillion castes that these sites portray, enabling you to select your own and find your match in the same circle. Does that mean we will be happier if we marry within the caste or are they trying to convey they are against inter-caste marriages? They rather have professional subsections like IT, CA, Engineer than Brahmins, Punjabis and Bengalis….. Makes the hunt simpler!

4. And now, the icing on the cake! The requirements, sorry, the conditions our grooms have. Sample a few.

A.    Girl must be traditional, but outspoken. What does that mean? Is my grammar poor? Makes me wonder!
B.    Professionally qualified, not too fair, not too dark, medium height and weight, willing to move out of the city, modern and home loving! Wake up to reality men! This is for a life partner hunt, not a model for a Sunrise advertisement.
C.    Girl must be well trained in domestic responsibilities – A servant in short?

1. Making her feel jealous or insecure
You might talk about your ex-girlfriends or women colleagues who hit upon you to be honest but this can often induce a sense of insecurity within your ... more 
1. Making her feel jealous or insecure
You might talk about your ex-girlfriends or women colleagues who hit upon you to be honest but this can often induce a sense of insecurity within your girlfriend. To a certain extent, talking about such things isn't damaging. In fact, it represents you as a wanted man who is quite appreciated by the fairer sex. But beyond a certain point, it can make her jealous. She could start questioning the shelf-life of your relationship, considering you are almost always being lured by other women. Similarly, being too honest about any of her friends isn't the best thing to do. Be restrained in your poetic description of how good a dress looks on a party-scorcher. Similarly, glancing at other women in her presence will only make it more obvious that you have a roving eye and aren't the dependable type. less 
1 / 6
Mon 3 Sep, 2012 9:30 AM IST

These are a few major highlights, bound to put off women who have registered on Matrimony sites, but YES, this is how marriage is SOLD! While this might sound like my friend is being judgmental, I’m pretty sure most women out there (at least to an extent) would happily agree to all that’s been said here.

Lastly, I am not advocating ALL marriages from Matrimony sites have similar stories, but YES there are such cases as well.

Share your Matrimony experiences in the column below.


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