Why friends are importantWhen I wrote my last post on how some important relationships become irrelevant, a lot of users were of the opinion that a good friend should be accepting of all the follies of the other. I don't think that logic really works. We are selfish beings and if we say that we expect nothing in return for the time, energy and emotions we invest in relationships, I don't think we are being completely honest.
Special relationships may not be a rational investment and we do not expect tangible returns but we definitely expect companionship and our friends to be with us when we need them the most. Why else would quotes/ideals on friendship always have "forever" as a prefix/suffix? Yes, it's true that there are friends that you can talk to after years and still pick up exactly from where you had left it. There are other friends that you might never need to meet at all, one long chat and you can re-establish the connect. But then there are others: who tell you how terrible their day at work has been every day, they need you to know every detail of their online romance and at times, they want you to fuss over them even when they know they are a classic case of hypochondria. If you have been there for them irrespective of your relationship status, then you expect them to be there too.
Every relationship needs to be given its due. Our relationship with our parents is probably the most selfless one. And yet, the onus is on us to make the relationship special and rewarding. We just can't take them for granted and say, that they will accept us no matter what our avatar.
If we share a special relationship with our sibling/cousin then we should make time to catch up with them for lunch/dinner or make time for a holiday together. When we say things like - life moves on, people grow apart or there's no time; these are just lame excuses. There is always time, if we want to make time. If we want to make our relationships count, we will always find time for the people who matter.
I basically have a problem when one relationship supersedes every other relationship in your life. Life should be about finding the right balance and not about making relationship choices where old ones always have to make way for the new.
The reason we give so much importance to friendship is that when people/situation/relationships around us change, there is this special someone who remains our rock. If that bond is in a state of flux then either your friend doesn't have the strength of character to remain consistent or the relationship was never worth your while.
In a perfect world, we would have perfectly selfless relationships where we would just give and expect nothing in return but our world is not perfect. A famous quote on friendship from A.A. Milne's Winnie-the-Pooh goes like this:
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind and asked. "Pooh?" he whispered.
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you."
Sometimes you just need to be sure.