A soulmate is not a partner. The word partner, and sometimes even spouse, conjures up a rather dismal picture of duty,
of someone who you’re with because your family or your social standing or your occupation demanded it. If you want to find a suitable ‘match’, check the matrimonial sites. I’m sure popular demand will soon make them list ‘prospectives’ according to income and caste.
A soulmate, on the other hand, is someone who IS as much you as you are.
No, you didn’t read that wrong. It IS possible to find someone who honestly cares about the same things that you do. There IS really someone for everyone, if only you’re willing to look beyond the size-zero china-dolls that the city seems to abound in these days.
What to do? Where to begin? After you take a long hard look at yourself and what you want from relationships, check out these ways of finding a soul-mate:
1. Join a club where people pursue the same hobby that you enjoy
Don’t say you already have club membership. And don’t settle for expensive clubs where members are more interested in talking about themselves than pursuing their passion. It could be the neighbourhood chess centre, or a local swimming pool. Understand, however, that the more unique your hobby or interest, the more likely you are to find someone who shares it, aka a possible soulmate! A man is rightly known for the company he keeps!
Probability of finding a soulmate in a club with at least 20 women members: ten to one.
2. Learn a new skill
Not just anything. Pick something you’ve always wanted to do and never got down to actually starting. The less serious, the better, of course! Wine tasting anybody? Cocktail mixing? Jive and salsa classes? At the very least, think of it as something that distinguishes you from the rest of the guys. If absolutely no such skill comes to mind, or if your life is busy enough as it is, what about charity work? A large part of meeting your soul mate is widening your circle of acquaintances. And when you’re doing something that you genuinely enjoy, you’re enthusiastic, optimistic, and pretty good company to be around, and also likely to attract similar-minded individuals!
Probability of finding a soulmate in a group with at least 10 like-minded women members: eight to one.
3. Get into shape!
Psychological studies have proved it again and again: action determines emotion. And everyone knows how many interested glances in the street a good physique attracts. Besides, the better shape you’re in, the better you feel about yourself. This might quite be the hardest step so far, but once you get your own initial reluctance to hit the gym, you will wonder why you didn’t begin before.
Probability of a muscled forearm getting an admiring glance on the street: five to one.
4. Socialise like you get paid to do it
This one doesn’t even warrant a list item of its own, but we live in a world that only considers people important if they’re too busy working to do anything more than take bi-annual vacations. What say you make it a rule to go out at least once every weekend? Round up your friends first. Then join groups of acquaintances. Look for co-workers who might be meeting up on Friday evenings for a drink. Go for fun events in your locality. Bonus points if you can go to a bar alone and hang out by yourself!
This one’s a no-brainer… the probability of finding a soulmate if you go out every single weekend for a month: four to one.
5. Warmer now: you’re ready to ask women out!
Yes, your city is more cosmopolitan than you think. It’s okay now to approach an acquantance or even a stranger and ask if you can buy her a coffee. Be casual, pay her an honest compliment, and tell her you’d like to get to know her better. You have a woman’s word on this one: so few decent men ask women out openly today that you have the element of surprise on your side.
This one needs practice, though. It makes sense to ask strangers out first, to prepare yourself and rehearse your lines, so to speak… When you’re asking an acquaintance or friend out, you should have done your homework and found out about her interests, because, hey, you do view this person as a possible soul-mate, don’t you?
Probability of landing at least a date with potential soulmate: two to one. No, I kid you not. Think about it. You both share similar hobbies, you’re in great shape, you’re optimistic and in touch with yourself. Women are as interested in finding a soul mate as you are!
All these suggestions work, because they help you to find your ‘soul’, without which it’s difficult to know identify a possible soulmate! The important thing is to get out into the sun. Yes, I said sun. Because even Indian summers have their breezy moments. And it can get dull being in-boring-doors all day. Relax. Loosen your tie. Enjoy the one life you have. Love will happen.
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